John Stewart Takes on O'Reilly

Thanks to Wonkette's Website you can view a transcript of John Stewarts visit to the "No Spin Zone" last friday. Indeed, O'Reilly was in rare form that night:

O'REILLY: You know what's really frightening?

STEWART: You've been reading my diary.

O'REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary.

STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening.

O'REILLY: But it is. It's true. I mean, you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote.


O'REILLY: You can't stop them.

STEWART: Yeah, I just don't know how motivated they would be, these stoned slackers.

O'REILLY: Yeah, it just depends if they have to go out that day.

STEWART: What am I, a Cheech and Chong movie? Stoned slackers?

O'REILLY: Come on, you do the research, you know the research on your program.

STEWART: No, we don't.

O'REILLY: Eighty-seven percent are intoxicated when they watch it. You didn't see that?

STEWART: No, I didn't realize that.

O'REILLY: Yeah, we have that there.

Perhaps it's a bad omen that I was enjoying some Woodchuck Draft Cider as I read the story, but I'm quite sure the two I had put away (being only 5% alc/vol) hadn't gotten me "intoxicated". Nor am I by any means a "stoner". So, I guess that crosses me out of thhe 87% (phew!) but I have to wonder what all those other freaks find so funny about The Daily Show, a program that isn't exactly funny unless you pay attention. Oh well, on with the interview:

STEWART: Do you really believe France is, in any way, worthy of a boycott?

O'REILLY: I do. I think France has really hurt the USA, to be...

STEWART: Really?

O'REILLY: Yes, I do.

STEWART: More than like Saudi Arabia? You would advocate a boycott...

O'REILLY: No, I'm not going to say more than Saudi Arabia. But I'm saying we do a lot...

STEWART: So why not boycott them?

O'REILLY: France is supposed to be our friend. Saudi Arabia is...

STEWART: Since when?

O'Reilly readily admits that Saudi Arabia is just as harmful to America as France, yet he wants to boycott the French for two reasons. First of all, Saudi Arabia owns about an eigth of our country; that's a lot. If we do something to make them angry, there'll be hell to pay. Secondly, President Bush supports Saudi Arabia. He's terribly close friends with minister Bandar(Bandar Bush, as he's known) and has made many millions of dollars, due in no small part, to the Bin Ladens and other Saudi families. O'Reilly is Bush's bitch, so it's no real surprise that he's shy on the subject. This episode only added to the many reasons I hate Bill O'Reilly.
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